It’s not really a secret that writing is difficult. Sure, it might come easier to some than others, but overall it can be a frustrating process. I spent most of my life up to this point believing I would have a career and life that revolved around writing – hence why I was a journalism major for two and a half years. It was when writing became a chore to me that I knew I could not do it for the rest of my life. So, I changed my major and even transferred schools and found something that was a better fit.
I keep coming back to this blog, though, because I know I still like to write. I still feel the need to tell a story, to figure things out with words. For the longest time, I really didn’t feel like I had a story to tell, and in some ways I’m still working through that doubt.
So, here is my story:
As of right now, I am 21 years, 10 months and two weeks old. Most days, I don’t feel as well as someone my age should. It’s difficult to get out of bed in the mornings, even if I slept 12 hours the night before. I have to talk myself out of naps during the day. I want to go outside, but if the sun is shining and it’s above 70, I feel sick within 10 minutes. My appetite is unreliable. My GI tract is troubled in various ways at least once a week – never from a specific type of food, it could be anything. My head hurts. It’s an uncomfortable way to live and I’m fed up with it. I don’t eat junk food, I drink a lot of water, I exercise on days when I have energy and my stomach feels alright.
Doctors have said it’s anxiety, depression, IBS, etc. and then they throw prescriptions for pills at me after seeing my bloodwork is completely “normal”. I leave, feeling more confused. Every day I take three different pills, not including birth control and my multivitamin. I don’t understand how a little white pill can make everything better – in my case it obviously doesn’t. I need better answers. I want to know more than just the “what” that is bothering me.
Luckily for me (and others), there’s another option, one I probably wouldn’t have even known about if I wasn’t obsessive about catching up on my Google Reader every day. By reading these blogs, I have been introduced to an alternative: holistic medicine. A simple Google search for holistic doctors in my area allowed me to narrow it down to three within a reasonable driving distance, and finally I chose one after perusing their websites. I made an appointment for a week from this Thursday, and just doing that has given me more hope that whatever is wrong can be alleviated somehow. There’s a 15-page patient history form I have to fill out and take with me to my appointment. Pretty long. Very comprehensive. I don’t mind it, though, because I like that so many other factors are being taken into consideration that the doctors I have been seeing have overlooked.
I guess this isn’t really all of my story. It’s more like the introduction to a new approach I am taking, and I want to be as transparent about it as possible. I know I don’t have the readership of the blogs I mentioned, but maybe someone will be able to relate. If that doesn’t happen, at least this is something I can look back on in a few years.